Hola, friend. You don't know it yet, but the future of the human race depends on this site.
A big claim, I know, but it's true.
Dr. Sexenheimer's Fiendish Master Plan
It's really quite simple - I have a vast number of media connections and am full to the brim with charisma. I was once given a job after actively attempting to fail the interview process
The plan is to slowly rise through the echelons of the State Government, eventually becoming Premier of Victoria. As Premier, I will form a militia - something strictly forbidden by the Constitution, and take on the Federal Government (regardless of who is in power) in a bloody coup, eventually emerging the victor.
Once in power, I will first call for the head of the previous leader. And everyone will be like, "But Doctor! You already have his head. It's on that pole. Right there." And I'll say, "Oh, I'll forget my own head next." And everyone will HAVE to laugh.
I will no doubt then begin ammassing large stores of devious weapons and hellish machines, before letting certain so-called Superpowers know what the score is.
This is no idle threat. The power will drive me mad, and I will destroy us all - I'm sure of it.
How Dr. Sexenheimer intends to sabotage his own fiendish plan.
This website documents all my crime and my allegedly unstable personality - as such, it is perfect fodder for my political enemies.
Enemies of the future, I am relying on you to use my own words against me, come Election Day 20XX, so that the People can see who I really am, beneath the slick grins and handshakes and clown make-up.
They say that the People get the government that they deserve
If I were to be elected, despite the contents of this page, then the World will truly deserve the Nuclear Armageddon that will rain down upon it.
I've done everything that I can to prevent my bloody rise to power. The rest is up to you.