Avant garde, no?

Dear Diary,

How are you?

I'm well, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm being sarcastic. I did note that you did not actually ask how I am.

No, I'm not arguing for the sake of arguing. Anyway.

Here is a thing! A promotion for Saints Row Three: The Thirdening is taking place at a petrol station in Sydney!

Don't believe me? Go to hell, here is proof. On Today Tonight. Whatevz.

The promotion involves giving away a bunch of free petroleum to lucky punters. They'll be happy.

I'm not ashamed to admit that sometimes my inner-most thinkings take the form of popular taxpayer-funded PR & advertising analysis panel discussion program Gruen Planet.

Hi, I'm that guy in the t-shirt: Here is a thought. Maybe it is not the best idea for a petrol station to be gadding about promoting a video game which is about stealing cars?

Hi, I'm the bald one: Ah, but you see, it is not a video game about stealing petrol.

Hi, I'm Wil Anderson: Jefferson! Bring me my raptor rifle! Oh, didn't I mention I was not the Wil Anderson from TV but the one from high class society who was sent back in time with his effete butler Jefferson?


All of this, and also seeing that Sean Sonnet was in court this week, reminded me of the following real life crime transcript, or transcrimept.

In this scene, underworld hitmen (as opposed to the overworld kind) Sean Sonnet and Gregg "Too Many Gs" Hildebrandt are cruising around in stolen cars, probably up to no good. They talk via 2 way radio.


Sonnet: "The petrol fucking thing's on the back there, behind you."

Hildebrandt: "It's on the floor mate."

Sonnet: (Inaudible)

Sonnet: "The windows are there."

Hildebrandt: "Yeah."

Sonnet: "They're the windows right."

Hildebrandt: "Yeah."

Sonnet: "You right?"

Hildebrandt: "Yeah, I'll follow you."

Sonnet: "If you want me to (inaudible) behind you, not you follow me."

Hildebrandt: "Yeah all right."

Sonnet: "Then the cops get your number."

Hildebrandt: "Yeah, yeah, I'm with you."

Sonnet: "You know where to go. I gotta park your car."

Hildebrandt: "Fuck, it's got no fuel. None whatsoever."

Sonnet: "Go to the Servo, go to the servo."

Hildebrandt: "Aah."

Sonnet: "If you've got nothing, I'll give you the money."

Sonnet: "Cap's on the left hand side here, here's $20. Capt's on the left hand side of you."

Hildebrandt: "Oh here y'are, it's going up."

Sonnet: "What's up?"

Hildebrandt: "Petrol's all right. Not gunna stop with cameras and shit, fucking."

Sean "What?"

Hildebrandt: "I'm not gunna stop for fuel it's all right."

Sonnet: "How much you got in there?"

Hildebrandt: "It's um, just below, its fucking heaps, don't worry."

Sonnet: "Put petrol in mate."

Hildebrandt: "Mate."

Sonnet: "Just put it in mate, they're not gunna get ya."

Sonnet: "Put petrol in. quick."

Hildebrandt: It doesn't need it. Fuck"

Sonnet: "Just put it in."

Hildebrandt: "All right. Fuck."

Hildebrandt: "There."

Sonnet: "Mate."

Hildebrandt: "Yeah."


This is a scene, I think, for the makers of an Underbelly video game to keep in mind.

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