Dear The Age,
What is going on with Postcode 3000?
Firstly, many of the items are actually taking place in areas which fall under different postcodes. Indeed, even the location in which it is written is within postcode 3008. Change the name. A good alternative name might be: Things Of Little Import, or maybe Shit Happens, or maybe Dr. Blinkenstein's Fantabulous Flying Contraptions And Their Many Fangragulous Attractions.
Secondly, fire Suzanne Carbonne immediately. Out of a cannon, please. This week we have heard of a teen entering a competition. Not winning. Entering. WOW! BONANZA! COCK-A-DOODLE-FUCKING-DOOBIE-DOOBIE-BE-BOP-A-LU-LA-A-BING-BANG-BOO-BE-MY-BABY-SHANG-A-LANG-A-DING-DONG!
And then we have the "Friday Gag."
"Two friends are chatting and one says 'Did you say I need to be more proactive?' The other says, 'No, I said you need more Proactiv.'"
I know that comedy is subjective, however on any and every objective level, this is not amusing. If one were to tell this gag to the most easily amused man in the world, he would be nonplussed. I am sorry, he would say, but is that supposed to be funny? So used to being amused is this man, he may become violent upon hearing it. Congratulations, Suzanne Carbonne. There is blood on your hands.
I hope you're happy/shortly airborne*.
*This is a call-back to my previous comment about cannons. I do not hope that Suzanne Carbonne is shortly taking part in Urban Mountaineering, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. I do suspect that this occurs, however.