Had band practice last night - halfway through, the keyboardist's ex calls. Can he come over? Sure.
So he gets there, turns out he hasn't had a drink in a week. Why? Cos he was at a camp for disabled children.
"Aren't you a little old for that?" I think but do not say, cos I am a diplomat.
You Be The Judge.
Exhibit 1 for the Prosecution: A conversation from sometime in 2008 before I kicked Ben Pobjie out of my band, but just after Ben Pobjie had made a joke about starting a side project which had something to do with Queen Bavmorda, the antagonist of the film Willow.
The Ex: I once knew this really short girl, I used to call her a Peck.
Ben: Well, technically that's a racial slur.
The Ex: It's what?
Ben: That's a racist slur. They were called Nelwyns. People called them Pecks to degrade them.
The Ex: (genuinely concerned) I didn't mean to be racist! Oh no... I hope they didn't think I was being racist.
Ben: Well, it should be okay as long as you didn't say it within the fictional universe in which Willow was set.
The Ex: Oh, okay.
But imagine that between Ben explaining that it isn't actually racist to call someone a Peck in the real world and The Ex understanding it that there is 20 minutes of that point being explained to an idiot.
Then imagine that instead of him understanding it he NEVER understands it and Ben eventually gives up.
Exhibit 2 for the Prosecution: Band practice last night.
He suggested we write a song about chewing called Chew It (it was inspired by him seeing someone chewing some food) and called me a narcissist. While it is true that I am a narcissist, he was trying to say that I was too sarcastic. He also pronounced narcissist incorrectly.
The prosecution rests.