Avant garde, no?

Just had a couple of friendly games of Scrabble with Andy Slackbastard. At least I had thought they were going to be friendly games. Turns out that Andy had thought that I had challenged him in quite a cocky manner. Reckons I said I was going to 'kick his arse' and 'dominate the motherfucking scrabble board, you tiny little bad-at-scrabble man.'

I don't have any recollection of anything of the sort. Unfortunately there is no emoticon for tipping ones hand back in front of one's mouth to indicate that you believe somebody has been drinking, otherwise that is what would follow the previous sentence. :-o >-|

That is a dude with like a cocktail glass just beneath his mouth. :-@

Now you can't see his mouth because the bottom of the glass is in the way. Perspective.

We are revolutionising emoticons here, people.

Anyway, Andy ended up winning both games. Unfortunately (for him) he achieved this by cheating. Specifically, he disallowed a word in each game that would have won me both.

First game: He had just put down ATTACK. I was going to add SHAQ for SHAQATTACK on a triple word score, but oh no, King Andy of Andytown couldn't be having that. "What's a shaqattack?" he asks in his ignorant gormless manner.

Second game: Earlier, I had put down MULL. He'd stayed away from it (thank goodness) which allowed me later to turn it into DAVEMULLIGAN, earning me 50 bonus points for using all seven letters on my rack. "What's a davemulligan?" he asks in the same ignorant gormless manner. Um, he's Left Back for the New Zealand All Whites?

I had no idea that Scrabble was such an effective method of revealing character. Luckily I found out that Andy is a liar and a cheat now, instead of further on down the track when he is asking me to store plastic explosives with which he intends to dismantle global capitalism.

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