Avant garde, no?

Reporting live from Beverley Hills, what are the goings-on and goings-off of the glittering, glamourous stars and starlettes?

HAVE THEY BEEN DOING IT? BEEN CAUGHT STEALING? IS IT OVER?

BUT THEIRS WAS A FOREVER LOVE, NELSON!

DEATH TO ALL WHO SAUNTER THE HOLLYWOOD BEAT

~~~~----~~~~

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

Their business, gentle reader, is our business.

I am sorry I wanted to kill you all, Hollywood Reporters.

I was temporarily insane, talking in a scouse accent and strutting about town with a female of a lower socio-economic background across me back.

"A hearty hail to you, Centurion," I wave to the Centurion.

"Ave Caesar, old cabbage," he replies with a doff of his tartan cap.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, entertainment journalists. Kill the fucking lot of them, I posit!

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