Avant garde, no?

Another definite platinum single for Nation Of Slam:

Well... I kept all my smack in a Milo tin,
So when I cooked it up and plunged it in,
What a taste sensation!
It sent me insane!
All that chocolatey goodness flowing up my vein!

Well... I thought I'd try again with some strawb'ry Nesquik,
But those sweet pink granules just made me feel sick
I fell to the floor,
Thought I was gonna die,
That low GI Milo is the only way to fly

Oh man, this gear's amazing,
It's got every junkie chasin'
Every junkie's jumpin' to that Milo beat

Well I called up the fellas down at Nestle R&D
Said, "Boys, I cooked up something that you simply gotta see!"
A teaspoon of Milo with some Grade A Chinese Rock
It's a sweet, sweet ride that'll knock off all your socks

They said, "Sir, you are a genius" and we shook hands on the sale
But they were a little strapped for cash,
So the cheque is in the mail

Well... I reinvented heroin,
Which is really quite a feat,
But my cheque never came,
So I'm living on the street

Oh man, this gear's amazing,
It's got every junkie chasin'
Every junkie's jumpin' to this Milo beat

Things are looking bleak, but not as bad as they might seem,
Cos I'm still the greatest alchemist the drug world's ever seen,
Nestle ripped me off,
And I'm livin' in a box,
But I'm keeping all my speed in a jar of Ovaltine

----

Oh man, in other news, I had this dream that my phone was the number for a suicide hotline, but instead of people calling me because they were feeling suicidal, people would call me to let me know how far up the list I was. Like, you weren't allowed to kill yourself until everyone in line before you was done.

I tried to tell them, "I'm not even suicidal, dudes!"

But each time they called up I was another number closer to death, and I didn't want to inconvenience the people stuck behind me, so I was like, "I guess I gotta kill myself?"

I woke up before I did it. (OBVIOUSLY!)

----

Today I was on the tram and this young lady sat down opposite me. She had cool multicoloured hair and a lip piercing. But she was also wearing like a jazzy kind of suit like she worked in some kind of office.

I was intrigued. I was thinking, what kind of job does she have to wear a jazzy suit for but she can also have a lip piercing and like cool multicoloured hair?

Then I thought, I hope she can't read people's thoughts or she'll know I'm totally intrigued by her!

Then I thought, but if she can read my thoughts, now she's thinking, this dude is crazy! He believes people can read people's thoughts!

Then I thought, Seriously, I'm not really super paranoid about thought-readers!

THOUGHT READING GIRL FROM THE TRAM! IF YOU'RE READING THIS: I AM NOT A CRAZY PERSON.

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