Avant garde, no?

MY CLOSEST FRIEND, LINOLEUM
SUPPORTS MY HEAD
GIVES ME SOMETHING TO BELIEVE

---

I have a feeling I've doubled the size of my ASIO file in the last few months.

FOR EXAMPLE:

The other day I went out to cover a rally. Some ferals were lugging signs and things up a hill. They were really struggling, so when one of them asked me to help carry some stuff, what could I do? If they died halfway up the hill there'd be no rally to cover! I suppose their deaths might have weighed on my conscience too.

Anyway, I carry like one sign up the hill for them, and just before I give it back to the ferals this dude in a suit (who was also at APEC) takes a photo of me. I am like, "I was just carrying it! I'm not protesting!" and the dude just sort of smirked at me.

I say, "Come on!" but he gives no indication that this will not be another black mark against my name when I apply for the position of deputy director of the Office of National Assessments.

Imagine that!

I assess this threat to national security as... totally bodacious.

/Sorry, Director Sexenheimer?

Let's party!

Haha. Good times.

So I told my mum about the above incident, in the hopes that my phone is tapped and some foolish agent at the Deakin Centre would make a note of my honest intentions.

Big mistake. Now Mum insists on slipping in fake code words and dark references to revolution at random into our telephone conversations.

"Cam, have you gotten your insurance sorted out?" Yes, Mum! "And what about the Southern Insurance? The 'New Highway' is unpaved, you know."

Yeah, thanks Mum.

---

And yet... a part of me worries that my file is embarrassingly slim. In order to rectify this, I have begun collecting esoteric literature. I hit the motherlode today, but I paid for it all in cash. Oops. For the record, here are the titles I purchased:

Wie Alles Anfing: The Personal Account of a West German Urban Guerilla by Bommi Baumann. It's about the Red Army Faction! Goodness gracious.

A People No One Knew by D. Bayley and L. Furze-Morrish. It's about British-Israelism. It posits the idea that the British are the true Israelites and those sneaky Jews are dastardly imposters. Oh, those Jews.

Fine Print 2 by Brian Wilshire. Wilshire is a late night radio host on Sydney's 2GB (I think). I bought this because it has a chapter about the National Safety Council of Australia. Wilshire suggests that the NSCA was a CIA front.

He backs up this theory by questioning how the NSCA could possibly be self-sustaining. They didn't receive government funding, he says, and they claimed to be funded by billing those they rescued. BUT HOW, asks Wilshire, could lost sailors and the like possibly afford to pay half a million dollar invoices! The money MUST have come from The Agency.

Shit, Brian. Maybe the money came from the 293 million dollars NSCA Victoria President John Friedrich scammed off the banks with empty shipping containers.

On the other hand, his theory that the NSCA was aligned with the CIA is lent a little bit of credibility by virtue of the fact that Friedrich was a CIA agent.

The other 200 pages of the 203 page book are about how a One World Government is about to take over. In the 14 years since the book was published, this has - as yet - failed to happen.

Haha! I'm such a fruitloop.

THAT'S ME
ON THE BEACHSIDE COMBING THE SAND
METAL METER IN MY HAND
SPORTING A POCKET FULL OF CHANGE

THAT'S ME
ON THE STREET
WITH A VIOLIN UNDER MY CHIN
PLAYING WITH A GRIN
SINGING GIBBERISH

THAT'S ME
ON THE BACK OF THE BUS
THAT'S ME IN THE CELL
THAT'S ME INSIDE YOUR HEAD

Yeats, eat your heart out!

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