I was dreaming that I was a main character in a sitcom which is full of sexual tension and you know how those sitcoms start to suck after the main characters do it (i.e. have sex).
Well, I didn't have to worry about that, cos there was heaps of tension but no sex... what is this? If you can get a piece of "tail" anywhere, it should be in your dreams. Anyway, the premise of the sitcom was that we were amateur detectives solving crimes in London and we caught a criminal because we recognised the unique tartan pattern of his pants. "You're nicked," we said, except we didn't actually have the authority to arrest the guy because we were only amateur detectives so we had to make do with staring WARGH deeply into each other's eyes before being WARGH interrupted by the arrival of the real police WARGH
I woke up.
What the fuck is WARGH going on where am WARGH I oh I'm in bed WARGH it was just a WARGH dream man I wish I WARGH had just had some sex WARGH what's that WARGH noise?
There was this WARGH noise coming from down the WARGH hall and it totally woke me up.
I got up and went down the hall to WARGH investigate, whereupon I discovered that my female housemate has the most insane hiccup you'll ever hear.
Normal peole hiccup like this: hiccup sorry i got the hiccup hiccups i need a glass of hiccup water.
My housemate hiccups like: WARGH
Her boyfriend is there also, so I say to him: Hey dude, you know that thing.
He's like: What thing?
I say: You know, that thing, it's sort of round and like a GRAAAARGH!
I screamed in her face. Then she screamed because I just scared the shit out of her.
I say: Hiccups solved?
She doesn't hiccup. So now I'm going back to bed, safe in the knowledge that my fake internet medical degree is not going to waste.