Avant garde, no?

Sucked in.

There is no such thing as observational humour about womens footwear on account of womens footwear don't have laces/velcro straps.

What's the deal with that?

The thing is this, and that is that mens footwear is practical and womens footwear is impractical. Men need those clodhoppers strapped on tight for when they're climbing a mountain and killing a snow leopard. Ain't gonna do that in no dainty little ladies number, am I right men?

What?

Do I think I'm being sexist? By implying that womens footwear is incompatible with climbing mountains and killing snow leopards?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, listen. Are you listening to me, lady? Are you listening to me? Do I have your attention?

Okay, shut up. Just shut up.

Hey, are you listening? I'm not sure that you're listening because your lips are still moving. Are you listening? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay?

Shut up. You see this microphone here, lady? This microphone means that I talk and that you shut up and laugh.

Do I come to your job and tell you how to do your job? Do I? Do I? Well, do I?

No! It's people like you that really grate my cheese, you know that. You always want everyone to be so politically correct. Oh, you can't burn that flag, it's a veteran's funeral. Oh, you can't use that brand of shower gel there, it was tested on animals and you're standing in a fountain.

Disgusting. You disgust me.

Well, that's all I have time for. Try the fish.

Ba Doom Tish.

(Actually, I think it would be easier to kill a snow leopard with high heels than with boots, on account of the sharp point. But why would you want to kill a snow leopard anyway? They're the graceful ballerinas of the tundra!)

Furthermore, there really are a lot of kinds of womens shoes, from high heels, sandals and flip-flops, to stuff what aren't even really shoes at all.
Have you taken a look at Rocket Dog Shoes before? Imagine that! A dog that's a rocket! Genius.

SoleStruck.com has them, you know, if you're interested in taking a gander.

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