Conversations on the wall overlooking the alley behind my house on the way back from the pub with my New Zealand mate Comrade McBroington (circa. 3am)...
LOCAL CARPENTERS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS
Dr. Cam: Looks like small-time Australian furniture companies are being pushed out of the market by foriegn imports.
Comrade McBroington: Thanks for the heads-up, dude.
DC: I would have thought you'd be slightly more concerned about the plight of Australian carpenters
CB: There's only one carpenter I care about, man
DC: David Bowie is not a carpenter, comrade
CB: Tell that to the shelf he built for me
DC: Oh, if those shelves could talk.
CB: They'd say, "Mmm, you have such soft hands, David"
RADIO, RADIO, RADIO
CB: Are you ever listening to the radio and you imagine the presenters are in your head?
DC: You think that too?
DC: Me neither.
CB: So then we were like, "That's how a player rolls, you scumbag."
DC: Hahaha, that reminds me of the... have you ever danced with the devil at midnight in the garden of good and evil?
CB: What did you say about a garden?
DC: I didn't say anything.
CB: You did!
DC: I think I would remember that.
CB: You crazy bastard... don't try and play the freakout game with me.
DC: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about
CB: Back home, there was this guy who tended bar at the pub. Anyway, I'd go in there stoned sometimes and he'd try to freak me out - I knew what he was doing but I was defenceless to stop it so he'd get me and then he'd say to the other patrons, "Look at this stoned guy, he's freaking out!" What a bastard.
CB: He used to do this thing where he'd go 'shh shh kah kah shh shh kah kah.' It was really freaky.
Disembodied third voice: I know what you're doing!
CB: What the fuck was that?
DC: Where'd that come from?
We're looking around for where this voice has come from, when,
DTV: How ya goin'?
We look down and there was a drunk guy there the whole time. He went back to sleep. Imagine that!