Avant garde, no?

Next up in our series of 'Blog Interviews' (or Blinterviews) is Adam 1.0 and Adam 2.0.

Adam 1.0 works in some sort of industry of some sort and wears fine Italian suits/loafers. I met him one time and he was absolutely smashed off his tits, yet still maintained both his composure/eerie knowledge of obscure 80's pop. He's a classy guy, and he operates out of the Supermercado Project.

Oh, and did I mention he lives in a completely heterosexual relationship with a young fellow by the name of Adam 2.0?

Adam 2.0 is a 21 year old Ethnic from Melbourne with a dark and shady past that I believe involves an extremist Catholic cult, underage sex and quite possibly the front page of the Herald Sun on September 12, 2000. My understanding is that he works on building sites where he is propositioned by old men and also as some sort of freelance photographer where he is propositioned by younger men. For some reason everybody thinks he's gay but I'm sure I have no idea why... though he did make flirt with me in a rather forward manner once.

Hahaha... he's never going to speak to me again now. On with the Blinterviews!

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Adam 1.0
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1. Would you say that giving women the vote: A. Did irreparable damage to society / B. Did damage to society that could be rectified by revoking their voting priviledges?

I would contend that giving anyone the vote sent our society down the wrong track to start with. Had Australia come of age as the result of a bloodied revolution where a dictator was overthrown and peasants danced on the balconies of parliament house there'd be a much better sense of perspective and we wouldn't be left with a choice between two complete cocks like Howard and Rudd.

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2. People have accused you of being an elaborate hoax perpetrated by persons unknown. Who is your secret alter-ego?

I am me. It's the readers who are fake. I did, however, masquerade as a member of TISM during their last concert series.

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3. If you could pash any Australian newspaper columnist - who would it be and why?

I would undoubtedly pash on with Andrew Bolt just because he'd be so angsty and guilt ridden about it the next morning.

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4. Brad & Angelina - will it last in 07?

I individually support Brad and Angelina and expect them to at least manage a few years but I contend that anyone who uses the term "Brangelina" should be executed immediately.

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5. Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibility of making decisions?

Bollocks to that - I want control and I want it now.

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6. Could you agree to "strict discipline?"

If it involved a 6ft blonde German in a military uniform I could.

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7. Would the idea of making a complete new start cause you much concern?

Not in the slightest - in fact I welcome it. While we're at it can I go back to being a kid and relive the lot from there as well?

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8. What are your plans for the development of the solar system in the next fifty years?

I think we should keep cutting planets back until we're left with Earth and the other two rocks closest to the sun. I also believe that the first one that should go would be Uranus because I'm sick to fucking death of nobody being able to say it without some clown going "[snicker] [snicker] your anus [snicker]. Imagine if a woman had discovered it? She'd never have been able to name it.

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9. Would you get in the ring and fight me? I mean, actually FIGHT me?

Depends what the rules are. Maybe not in a straight one-on-one Fight Club style brawl but I'd like to think I could hold my own in an Ultimate Fighting Championship style clash. Can we webcast it?

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10. Could you ever bring yourself to return my affection?

You're lovely but I'm just not that type of girl.

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Adam 2.0
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1. Would you say that giving women the vote: A. Did irreparable damage to society / B. Did damage to society that could be rectified by revoking their voting priviledges?

I ask you a return question. How would you best describe yourself? Middle-aged struggling muso/artist fond of spending afternoons sitting on the footpath on the corner of Johnston and Brunswick streets drinking from a paper bag, or repeat sex offender?

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2. People have accused you of being an elaborate hoax perpetrated by persons unknown. Who is your secret alter-ego?

I suppose it's as good a time as any to come clean. Yes, this branding is an elaborate hoax. I am the brainchild of an unemployed, middle class, white, lanky arts student with a penchant for all things asian who lives with his parents in the eastern suburbs. The author plays too much Microsoft Train Simulator, watches too much anime and struggles to be understood by his contemporaries. Through creating tragedy and subterfuge through this character, the author expresses his wacky creative thoughts and penchant for train enthusiasm. Already in the pipeline is a book deal, a short film project similar to "Kenny" and a childrens' animated series.

I can safely confirm that the author is very impressed with just how out of control this joke has become.

And as for the model we use to play Adam Norgelberg, he's a struggling actor-cum-labourer who we cast after a chance meeting at university.

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3. If you could pash any Australian newspaper columnist - who would it be and why?

If by "newspaper columnist" you include "Crikey contributors" then I'd have to say you, Dr Cam.

Should your definition be someone working for Uncle Rupert et al, then I'd have to say Mary Bolling who wrote the Herald Sun victorian election coverage 2006, who also writes I Walk The Plank. She's smart, gifted, and sexy to boot. (Call me, Mary.)

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4. Brad & Angelina - will it last in 07?

I foresee him jumping the fence and her going back to her brother. Athena starwoman ain't got nothing on me.

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5. Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibility of making decisions?

Do you mean that in terms of sex or employment?

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6. Could you agree to "strict discipline?"

Only if it involved whips, chains, a rack and Andy from the first season of Big Brother Australia.

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7. Would the idea of making a complete new start cause you much concern?

It terrifies me. Should I ever have to do it you can buy me adult diapers to compensate.

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8. What are your plans for the development of the solar system in the next fifty years?

Interplanetary travel using solar-wind powered space sailcraft like that episode of Star Trek - Deep Space Nine where commander Sisko builds one with his son and travels around the Bajoran system.

And the implementation of a new range of gourmet freeze dried in-flight meals would also be a priority.

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9. Would you get in the ring and fight me? I mean, actually FIGHT me?

Only if you stop dressing like a woman when we do get in the ring.

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10. Could you ever bring yourself to return my affection?

Only if you stop dressing like a woman when we do get in the ring.

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