Well, I finally met Max with an X.
See, I have this friend. Amanda.
And she used to go out with Rodriguez X. This was before he was known as Rodriguez X... though technically he WAS Rodriguez X at the time.
The reason I call him Rodriguez X was because he was going out with another friend of mine, Heidi, for a while (a relationship I have never really understood)... but her parents hated him.
And I made the observation to Heidi that it was just like Romeo and Juliet. Except... his mother liked her. So... it was more like Rodriguez and Juliet. Rodriguez X. Because Xs make things a lot cooler.
Anyway, talking with Amanda last night, it became apparent that her parents had hated him too. Perhaps if I'd known that then, I could have named him earlier, and their relationship might have made it. But then I wouldn't have met Max. Max with an X.
But we're not up to that yet.
I was taking a bath. It was 7 or so. I don't know why there was a bath run, but as long as there was, I was taking advantage of it. I was reading Spy Girl by Amy Gray, a book I'd bought because of it's cool cover and the tag line, "Harriet the Spy meets Sex in the City." I didn't know about the Sex in the City part, but Harriet the Spy was awesome. Spy Girl... yeah... lots of Single White Female angst, but the Corporate Espionage made up for it. I was also listening to SuperRequest on the Js. Kind of loud. But in a quiet spot, I thought I heard my phone ringing. I turned the radio down. My phone was ringing. By the time I got to it, it was no longer ringing. I looked at the screen.
10 missed calls.
This is an unusual amount of missed calls, even for me. They were all from Heidi and Cassie. I called up Cassie to see what was what. They were outside my house. Cassie says to me, "Dude, we've vandalised your car."
I say, "Dude, I'll be out there in 3 minutes."
Anyway, I chat with Cassie and Heidi in the cold for a while, and they tell me how they were having dinner with a bunch of people from high school (something which neither Vegie or I were invited to, presumably because of our lack of loyalty to their little clique - I mean, we liked them, but you can't just hang out with the one group of people.) Anyway, they'd decided to skip out of this delightful occasion to visit their only Warragulian alterna-youth friend, me. They'd come via Civic Video, where they had procured any number of brochures about why Digital Pay TV sucks, and you should just rent videos. They'd put them all over my car as if they were parking tickets. It was a humourous notion, in theory.
Anyway, we decided to do the same thing to the cars of the people still having dinner (an event they had been supposed to return to 20 minutes previous) - though we failed spectacularly in terms of subterfuge. I was then invited to pre-pub drinks at Jess's house. Jess, of course, is my inside woman in ASIO. Serious.
Anyway. Cassie and Heidi and I went to Vegie's to bring him to this shindig, where we found him dressed like a bogan and watching Fight Club. He disappeared for a few moments and returned wearing... a hunting jacket?
"Dude, you're a vegetarian."
He takes a drag from his imaginary pipe. "Nonsense, old chap."
And with that we set off for Jess' in separate autos. We arrived, and after some brief greetings outside - my nemesis, Cappa, had also had his car brochured, though he didn't really see the funny - we went inside, and it was like stepping into the little classroom just off the common room. There was the "Old Crew." There was only one person who I didn't recognize... but he seemed kind of famiiliar, so I pretended that I knew him.
It soon became apparent that this was the fabled Max. Max with an X. I gasped in shock.
"Max with an X"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Shit, I thought you were someone I knew."
And we got on famously. What a great guy. I imagine we would have still gotten along if his name was Adam or Jeff or Brian - but this way, he was on the right foot with me months ago, and it's pretty hard not to like someone who has thought you were pretty hip for months.
Anyway, we joked about beating the shit out of Amanda for a while, and anecdotes about heroin and stuff were regaled, and at some point we were outside having a conversation, and Cappa was talking about going down to the pub and playing pool with someone.
Anyway, completely independently, in a separate conversation a metre away, Max asked me what I thought the weakest sport was. He thought table tennis. I said, "Nah, pool's pretty fucking weak."
Cappa butts in, "But pool's a cool game though."
I responded with the biting reply, "Yeah, but you're a fucking fag."
Cappa was taken aback.
Max says, "Oh... SNAP!" which is the first time I've ever heard anyone say SNAP in that context, and I was pleased.
Very pleased... Oh, have I mentioned that he has an actual X in his fucking name?
More God than Man, really.