Things are looking up.
The missing Johnny Leatherjacket - the kid ain't so missing anymore, turning up on my doorstep in a fairly reasonable state of being.
That said, in the week and a bit between our meetings, his clothing had gotten far spikier, he had been arrested for shoplifting, and he had cleaned out the poor box of a church.
Spikes: Johnny showed off his classy boots. They have always been a fairly intimidating affair, but they now had some big spikes sticking out of them. Bazooka spikes - that's what the big ones are called. The smaller ones are named after some other form of artillery.
Shoplifting: Stealing a pen? Silly. Getting caught stealing a pen? Sillier! My understanding is that Johnny was watched closely upon entering the superdupermarket as a result of his wacky clothing... BUSTED!
They went through the superdupermarket process, then the cops came around, took him to the station, told him off, and sent him on his way.
Sweet Jesus, you can't rip off a church: Nah, it's not what it seems like, bros. The kid was panhandling down in the CBD, when who should walk past but Father Bob Maguire!
Johnny: Spare some change, mate?
Father Bob: Who are you supposed to be, Johnny Rotten?
Johnny: Nah, Sid Vicious, mate.
Father Bob: Right... when we go into the church, you need to say that you're the Archbishop of Canterbury.
So they go into the church, and a service is just finishing up, and the little old ladies are all shuffling out, and Father Bob says: "We have a special guest, the Archbishop of Canterbury!"
The little old ladies avert their gazes and shuffle past.
Then Father Bob emptied out the poor box ($20) and gave it to Johnny, whereupon he told him to piss off.
Crazy days, huh?