Today, I hurt my leg. I was reading the sports section, and there was an amusing headline.
It went: [NAME of Player] [VERB] [NOUN which rhymes with NAME].
For some reason, I found this particularly hilarious, and I laughed accordingly - and then all my laughing made my leg spasm and it really hurt. I don't know what that's all about.
You're the only one who understands me, Diary. Thankyou for listening.
Guess who else hurt their leg? Comrade Luke McBroington! He went to see the new Gymnastics movie which is out (Stick It?) and then he was at the cinema, but he left the cinema, and he was like in this arcade, and there was dancing games, and driving games, and all sorts of "arcade video games." Anyway, he played a shooting one, but it was very newfangled in that it had like video sensors, so you had to jump around to hide from the bad guys - so he strained his leg doing that.
Poor Comrade Luke McBroington! (BRO-iNG-TOHN)
Let me tell you a story about two guys from the Gon. Let's call them Johnny LeatherJacket and B-Rad. So Johnny LeatherJacket and the B were doing it pretty hard.
To put it differently, they had very little money.
But they needed to drive places. They had appliances to deliver!
Now, petrol is expensive these days, so Johnny LeatherJacket and B-Rad came up with a convoluted plan whereby they would put petrol in their car... but not pay for it?
So, they take off their plates, and they get some petrol, and then they drive off.
And it works great! They have all this petrol, and they didn't have to pay for it.
Everything is going great, until one day they roll over a little Mum and Dad operation... That's a Greek Mum and Dad.
They put $70 in, and take off.
Problem is, the son of the servo owners is following them in his hotted up ute performance vehicle.
They are driving a significantly more pathetic car. So, the son is following them, and then he is next to them, telling them to pull over - mere millimetres between the cars. Then he is in front of them. Then he slams on the brakes.
The cars connect.
Somebody gets out of his passenger side, walks over to Johnny LeatherJacket's passenger window, and pops it out with a tyre iron, covering Johnny's face with glass.
Then he and the son drag Johnny LeatherJacket and B-Rad out of the car, and frogmarch them to an ATM, where they obtain the money owed.
"We don't mind you stealing... but you don't steal with us. I hope you boys have learnt an important lesson."
And then they disappeared into the early evening air.
And now whenever it rains, Johnny LeatherJacket's car fills with water.
The Moral: Stealing is wrong.