Avant garde, no?

Morwell - it's a pretty rough town, huh?

I submit Exhibits A:

A couple of years ago I was at a birthday party in Morwell, when a fella rocked up with a baseball bat. This probably should have served as a warning as to how the rest of the night was going to pan out, but anyway.

He didn't mean to do any harm to the party-goers - but for his own safety he felt that he couldn't walk a whole two blocks without carrying a blunt instrument. I thought at the time that he must have pissed off some nasty peoples, but some years later I think it was more of a general sense of foreboding that caused him to carry a weapon.

Maybe THAT should have served as a warning for how the rest of the night was going to pan out?

At any rate, it didn't!

At some point during this birthday party, we were invited to another birthday party, midway between Morwell and the Gon, so when Party A started to wind up, about four of us went to Party B.

Now... although we had technically been invited by the Party-Thrower to Party B... we were an unknown quantity to many of the Party B Attendees.

That doesn't justify what happened next, but it does explain it.

I submit Exhibit B:

I'm talking to one of my mates, and this guy comes up to me from the left and says, "Oi cunt, what are you looking at?"

I say, "Nothing."

I hadn't even been looking in his direction.

He says it again: "What are you looking at, cunt?"

I repeat: "Nothing, mate."

He says it a third time: "CUNT, what the fuck are you looking at?" at which point I turn around and look at him and say, "I'm not looking at an- agh, my fugging toos! You brog my fuggin toos!" because he had slammed a beer bottle into my face and smashed my two front teeth.

This seemed rather harsh at the time, however in retrospect it's probably better that he broke the bottom half off my two front teeth (the real bottom halves had actually been broken off some years previous in a non-violent incident involving some running and some ashphalt and the Earth's gravitational pull) rather than say... smashing a beer bottle into any of the softer parts of my face... it would likely have cut me up pretty bad.

Anyway, it was at around this point that we left... Some of my compatriots nearly returned to settle things, but were dissuaded by the heavy police presence that greeted their return. Following our departure, there had been another (more serious) incident in which some poor bastard was hospitalised.

Myself and various comrades have also run into trouble in the Greater Valley Area (for example, being attacked by Lord of the Flies-esque kids at the Waz Vegas skate park, or for a different example involving someone who is not me: Waking up in Traralgon hospital after being found bleeding profusely on the sidewalk in the middle of the Gon) but it has all been fairly standard fist in the face sort of thing.

Lately, I get the feeling that things are getting a bit hot in Morwell, in the sense that people are actually stabbing and shooting people. Some people say that it's because the Valley economy is fucked up and there are no jobs going - others say it's just because Morwell has "gone to the fucking dogs."

Personally, I reckon it might have something to do with the area being awash in a sea of cheap smack and pills. Haha! To the dogs!

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