Avant garde, no?

1. More stormclouds descend on Waz Vegas.

It only cost $80,000. But don't worry, it was State Govt. money, so it came out of our taxes instead of our council rates.

What am I talking about? Cloud, bro. You bin living under a rock?

For those who are just joining us, in honour of the Commonwealth Games, my sunny hometown of Warragul put up this artwork over the Southern entrance of the town called Cloud. Basically, it is a bunch of coloured panels hanging off some wire. They spin around and are theoretically aesthetically pleasant if you can separate your appreciation of pretty things from your being inconvenienced by having to drive into town via various other entrances/it being paid for with your taxes when really there are actually more important things that the money should be being used on.

So, yeah... coloured panels hanging off some wire on the edge of the bubbling metropolis that is Waz Vegas.

Trouble is... my sunny hometown of Waz Vegas is not a sunny town at all. It is wet and rainy and WINDY.

So they had to do some maintenance on it the other day. Previously, the whole thing had been paid for by the State Govt. with money specifically earmarked for the purpose of wasting money on poorly concieved artwork.

Now that it was being maintained, I am under the impression that we were getting into the realm of the money coming from the Council.

Not 100 meters from where Cloud is located, there are some massively dangerous potholes. Various footpaths have cracks and whatnot in them. There are a number of poorly lit streets in which serious assaults have been committed in recent years.

These are just some things that maybe the Council could have been throwing money at.

But instead they were spending it on fixing up a bunch of coloured panels hanging off some wire.

Anyway, they fixed it, and it was all good and proper until the next time it was really windy, and one of the panels started to fall off, whereupon traffic had to be diverted and police resources had to be wasted and so on and so on, and it cost even more money - hurrah!

Anyway, they fixed that at even further expense... so imagine my surprise when I drive into town via the Sth entrance today, and the whole thing is gone!

What a waste of fucking money.

2. Socialising with socialists.

I went to a party the other day, and I would like to stress that I did not go to a socialist party. I try to avoid drinking with socialists, because I tend to drink to excess so that their ideology can start to make sense, and drinking to excess is not good for my liver. I went to a party, but there was a socialist there.

They were drinking some sort of la-dee-da wine. They were eating an hors de ouvre. They were bitching about the bourgouise.

Das hypokrisy, mein lieben?

3. Explosions, huh?

I went and saw Mission Impossible 3... for free!

There were some cool explosions, and there was some cool jumping out of things and under things, and over things. I saw one of the final twists coming about an hour before it happened, but the other one hit me like a mack truck hitting a clay rendition of Shakespeare playing an electric guitar paid for by funds earmarked for road repair.

Conversely, SteveSteve (who was my date on this occasion) didn't predict the twist I predicted, but did predict what I felt was the more complicated twistymctwist. There were some cool explosions.

4. Feelings, huh?

Feelings are things that people have. Other things that people have include: Relationships.

Relationships and feelings are often intertwined.

Everybody is in a relationship with everybody around them.

How we feel about the people around us defines the nature of that relationship.

How do I put this.... Son, you see... when a man... loves a woman.

And can't... well, he can't keep his mind on nothing else. He'll trade the world ... f-for the good thing he's found. If she's bad he can't see it! She can do no wrong...

No, no, no... I'm explaining this all wrong!

Think of, like... some birds and some bees. Think of flowers. Well, the bees have to get pollen for whatever it is they do with pollen, and the birds... well I'm not quite sure where they fit in.

The point is, I was talking to someone about their recently failed relationship today - talking to someone male, actually - and it was not an awkward conversation as a conversation about feelings between males should be. Luckily this was rectified by making a comment regarding how awkward the conversation SHOULD have been.

An awkward silence followed.

5. Bill Shorten, huh?

Bill Shorten... Damn, man. That kid was getting some MAD national coverage because of his involvement with this Beaconsfield thing - the kid was going places.

Then the Saturday Age publishes an expose on the alleged branch stacking operation by Bill Seitz, which totally allegedly implicates Shorten in a bit of allegedly dodgy practices, and it seems like it's all gone to shit.

So imagine my surprise when the Sunday Age publishes a story about him maybe being the next guy for Maribyrnong, much to the surprise of the sitting member Bob Sercombe.

See: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/shorten-pushed-for-federal-seat/2006/05/13/1146940775858.html

I think that Sercombe should be concerned about these parts of the article:


The Sunday Age has learned that Labor figures believe Mr Sercombe might be persuaded to retire early from politics in return for a Victorian State Government job.


Mr Sercombe also scoffed at rumours that poor health might be cited as a possible reason why he might choose to leave politics early.

"The last time I was at the doctor he asked how a bloke like me with my dietary habits can be in such perfect health."


Does anyone else see the subtle threats there?

Mate, I don't think your dietary habits are going to help you at all when you have your FUCKING KNEECAPS BROKEN.

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