Once in every lifetime...
There's a little place we go...
Past the land of buttercups...
Beyond the rainboooooowwww....
ONCE IN EVERY LIFETIME!
THERE'S A PLACE TO BE!
A PLACE FOR FUN! A PLACE FOR JOY!
A PLACE FOR YOU AND MEEEEEEE!
YES, A PLACE!!!
A PLAAA-AAAACE. FOR YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAND MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
doo doo doo doo. bom.
Wild! My new children's television series has totally been given the green light by Channel 6 (the chaaaaaanel of myyyyssstteeeeerrrryyyyy!) and you guys have just been the first people to groove out like madmen and women on the zany theme song.
It's called, THE ADVENTURES OF PIRATE JEFFREY! and it's all about this Pirate called Jeffrey.
Essentially, the show is all about the physical rigours of sailing, the loneliness of the open sea, the everpresent homosexual tension between Jeffrey and his first mate Darren, basic counting, and the alphabet.
We open on a psychologist's couch. Captain Jeffrey is being analysed by his psychologist, Sigmund Freud.
Jeffrey: You see, doc, I think my problem is that I like causing pain a bit TOO much. Is that possible?
Freud: Perhaps it is because you secretly vant to make luff to your parents.
Jeffrey: Not much of a secret... don't you watch the news?
Jeffrey: It's just... sometimes when I'm firing a cannon, I giggle like a little schoolgirl... I don't think that's right.
Freud: The cannon is like your penis.
Then we would have some sailing and a few songs about sharing. I think I will get a Gold Logie.