Avant garde, no?

So, I cannot walk now. Walking is right off the agenda.

Anyway, here is a little story I will tell you.

As you all know, dancing is EVIL! For a long time, I didn't think this was true, as I had seen Footloose, and that is a sinful movie that presents several convincing arguments in FAVOUR of dancing.

But... Kevin Costner was lying to me.

For I was at a birthday party on Friday night/early Saturday morning, and I was dancing in a very carefree spirit, when California Uber Alles by Dead Kennedys came on. So, I began dancing in an even more carefree spirit... I stomped my right boot down once, twice, and then a third time, and it was the third time that did it, my friends. My foot hit the ground on a very funny angle, and then, CRSHK! it went back up behind me. I stood there on my left leg for a second, and then the PAIN began, and I felt it was necessary to fall to the ground screaming.

I did this with some grace.

"ARGH! I'VE BROKEN MY LEG" I screamed, "SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!"

People looked at me funny, because they thought I was joking. Really, has anybody ever joked about that?

After about 20 minutes, the ambulance came, and they gave me a green tube to suck on, and everything went fluffy. (The little tripout that followed contained various skinheads, but they were all wearing tutus, so that was okay)

Turns out, I'd just dislocated my kneecap... it popped back in while they were chucking me in the ambulance. There could be some damage to the miniscus, but that'll heal up in a coupla days... my knee is well swollen tough. On a follow up trip to the hospital (for x-rays) I poked my leg, where I thought the brace thing I was wearing was, and it was like a pillow. Turns out, that wasn't the brace. (It was my leg)

So no more dancing for me. I will stick to the simpler things in life, such as boozing and whoring, as no wrong could surely come of them!

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