Avant garde, no?

Okay.

I highly recommend you become friends with somebody who works in a video store.

HOW TO TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF YOUR VIDEO STORE FRIEND.

Step 1. Video store friends can supply you with cheap/free video hire.

Now, the trick to this is not to do it while the boss/other employees are around.

It would also help to develop some sort of system whereby you tap your nose or tug on your left earlobe.

Not that that should be in any way necessary - it'd just be funny. You know, from my point of view.

Step 2. Video store friends can supply you with free lamination.

Fake IDs.... um... well, I'm sure there are other things which you could get laminated. Federal Breast Inspector cards, and so on and so on.

Step 3. Video store friends can supply you with HOURS of non-video entertainment.

Make sure you don't have any appointments... it might not hurt to go to the toilet first as well.

Then, go to your video store friend, and ask them about their customers.

It's grrrrreat.

Most of them, once they get started, will NOT stop until you sock them in the mouth.

This is not neccesarily a bad thing.

I went and saw SixFtHick at the Rob Roy on Saturday night with my compadre Luke.

Now, Luke works in a video store, so on the trip home from a magnificent show (as always - the shorter singer set himself on fire at one stage... and drank beer out of a full ashtray. I was well impressed) I got him started about his customers.

Yes, sir... that was the right idea, and no mistake.

Sure, there were the normal dickheads and arseholes... but then, you have the special customers.

Like the guy who thinks the CIA is tracking his movements through the video store, and could they close his account and start a new one with a new address.

He does this, like, once a week.

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