Avant garde, no?

Sup, gentle reader? How are you? I'm fine, thanks. What? WHAT? Messiah stuff... Why, I simply don't know what you're talking about!

I hung out with a bunch of degenerate Valley youth last night... they had the following tales of dubious morality/artistic merit to tell.

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Lance: Once, I was at this party, and this slut slapped me, so I pushed her into a wall - then my landlord's sister threw her into a lamp and I went home.
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Jelly: One day, when I was in prep, there was this kid that shit in his pants so much, that all he had to do to sit down was lean back a little. True story.
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Lance: Once, I woke up with this really HORRIBLE DOG, and I was like, "Ewwwww..." so when she got up to go to the bathroom, I went up to Walker and said, "WALKER! TAKE ME HOME!"
Walker: And I said, "Bulldog, take Lance home!"
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Jelly: I once shot an entire roll of film of my wang, and took it in to get processed.
Heidi: An entire roll?
Jelly: Yep.
Walker: What happened when you got them back?
Jelly: Nothing.
Walker: Don't they take them out, ask you, "Are these your photos?"
Jelly: Nah, it was one of those cheap one hour places, you don't get that level of service in those ones.
Heidi: They still had to look at it though.
Jelly: Yeah, but you know, they have to look at heaps worse stuff than my wang... Like doctors with rolls of film of abortions and organs and shit... for medical purposes.
Dr. Cam: Right... medical purposes.
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Jelly: Once, when I was in Year 9, I drew this REALLY AWESOME picture of a sniper taking some cunt out, and Mr. Litz WENT OFF AT ME! He made me come back at recess for detention, but when I got there he just said, "You know what you did. Don't waste my time" and sent me on my way.
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I'd love to continue this, there ARE LOTS of more stories to tell, but in the interim, I have gotten smashed with my sister's friends, and as a result, am now smashed.

IT IS GREAT, but I rather suspect, that myt typing will worsen as the minutes wear on, cos I am a little bit drunk.

As per this MSN discussion:

Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Dude, I'm fucking trashed.
mjec says:
wootz0rz
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Oh yeah!
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
I jined in my sister's party!
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Typing is difficult.
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Because I am drunk
mjec says:
yes, that tends to happen with inebriation
mjec says:
I need to organise some of taht for me, stat!
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
I drank a whole lot of vodka.
mjec says:
ahh, the drink of all great lefties
mjec says:
so, since you've been drinking, are you now liable to tell me all sorts of embarrasing things about yourself?
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
My sister's boyfriend is COMING ONTO ME.
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
He is hot.
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
How about that.
mjec says:
it'll d
mjec says:
o
mjec says:
the question is, would you do him?
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Yes.
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
In a heartbeat/
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Well, I don't know.
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
I'm so comfortable with my heterosexuality that I can even withstand the cock of Alan Cummings* when it is delivered to me unrequested...
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Doing my sis' hot boyfriend would add a layer of complexity that I'm not quite prepared to deal with.
mjec says:
fair enough
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
Can I put this into my fantastic blog?
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
I know the answer is yes, but I ask because I am polite.
mjec says:
You are a very polite man, 'tis somethiing I have noticed about you. Very proper indeed; a virtue of yours
mjec says:
and of course, the answer is yes
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
HURRAH!
Dr. Cam Sexenheimer says:
MORALS WIN AGAIN! Take that, immorality!

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So, as you can see, I am no longer fit to be "blogging" as the younguns of today would refer to this internet self-publication business, what with all the swaying and all, and thus I shall bid you adieu, but not before I tell you exactly how I got so smashed!

You see, my sister was throwing an ILLICIT party at our parents' house, where she still lives, and I decided to come along... anyway, one thing led to another, and I skulled a lot of vodka, and now I can barely stand up and there is a chick flick going on that I do not wish to participate in and THERE ARE A MULTITUDE OF EHTNICITIES IN THIS HOUSE!

It is truly amazing, and proof, in my opinion, that multiculturalism works. This party is "FLANTASTIC.

Anyway, anyway, I'm listening to Dig radio and swaying a lot, and have nothing of much importance to add to the HUGE thing... NIGHT KIDS! And remember, alcohol is bad for you, unless you're over 18. I am going blind. It i greattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.... ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhyhfufasdklhfkhqaskljdfhlkjazshfdkjhaskdfhakljshdflahsklfhalkshfklmashfklahsflkhaskfhklaweh so many ts.

and i felt compeelled to press lots of letters.

So, to conclude, I may be drunk. What a degenerate state to be in!

Yours,

Dr. Cam Sexenheimer

*As delivered unto me by young Leigh in a series of male foot fetish pictures, for some reason.

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And the next morning, what does we think...

Hahahahahaha, I'm such a fucking soak. I love how I managed to write MULTITUDE so well - I don't mean to brag, but I'm a fucking genius.

Also, NO HANGOVER! It's great, and I extend my sincere thanks to my LIVER OF STEEL!

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