Avant garde, no?


By gum, that's a lot of fucking mud. Mud mud mud mud mud...


We arrived at Tooradin at around 9pm... you see, we had a going away party to attend... we were going to send our compadre Rob off to Spain in style, or at least something resembling same. For those paying attention, you are quite correct: This was Rob's SECOND going away party.

The cunt obviously can't take a hint.

Anyway, we got there at around 9pm... there was a little bit of confusion as to which house it was... It was on the corner of one street and another... BUT WHICH CORNER?

I called Max with an X to confirm.

Dr. Cam: Hey Max with an X!
Max with an X: Hey, Private Number Calling!
Dr. Cam: It's Cam
Max with an X: Oh... hey... Cam.

What? He was too fucking good to remember who I was? Hollywood had changed him.

Dr. Cam: You going to Rob's party?
Max with an X: No, I'm at another party... a premiere in Sydney.
Dr. Cam: Oh.
Max with an X: Look, I've gotta go... I'm picking up signals from Nicole. I think I might just make a move.
Dr. Cam: Um... okay... See you later, I guess.

But he'd already hung up.

We took our chances, and picked the one on the left.

We knocked on the door.

We could see some guy through the window... he was hiding something.

Finally, he comes to the door, resplendent in his bathrobe, VB in hand.

"What the fuck do you cunts want? I told you, we don't fucking care about your fucking message!"

Okay, maybe it didn't happen quite like that.

Guy: Hi.
Us: Hi... uh, is there a party here?
Guy: Apparently.

He invited us in, but it soon became clear that Rob's brother's housemates knew very little of the party. It was also evident that nobody had actually shown up yet.

The offer was made to hang out with them until people showed up, but we elected to see the sights of Tooradin instead.


Boy howdy, it was magical. There was the foreshore, and a jetty, and a playground, and some trees, and some ducks, and some boats, and a lookout, and the Mornington Peninsula lit up in the distance... inviting in it's closeness, but really a long way away.

Eventually, we had managed to waste about an hour...

We returned to the Party House, outside of which was a bunch of cars... I had not recieved any warning of the impending arrival of people we knew, however, so I used my telephone to determine what was up.

Party Person: Oh... they'll be the other people who live there's friends. They're mutes... Or selective mutes. They don't like us.


Steve: What'd he say?
Dr. Cam: They're the other people's friends. They don't like our friends much.
Steve: Sounds like the makings of an akward situation.
Dr. Cam: Yes, let's go in. Word is that they're mimes.

We went in...




No animals were harmed in the making of this feature.

Special thanks to the ZOG Conspiracy and the Illuminati!


Update: Before we left, I saw a little bit of the new Dr. Who on the telly. About a minute's worth... and there was one bit that I knew was going to get some blood boiling with a few crazy people. AND I WAS RIGHT.

See this charming post from the White Pride Coalition of Australia forum:

HowlingDog88 (Carl Thompson) writes:

"I watched the first episode of the recrafted Dr Who series on the ABC last night.
All went well, for about the first minute, until Billy Piper's character went into a lip lock with a NIGGER.
It seems that not even Dr Who is safe from the Jewish mind manipulators who want to push miscegenation down the throats of our children.
The nigger kept popping up during the show.
In the end they wrote the nigger out, but I lost count of the number of times that I hurled my rubber brick at the television."

A quick perusal of the Dr Who website, however, reveals no credit given to the ZOG!

Where the hell is that number for Mediawatch?


Back to the Tooradin Party:

This just in.

Apparently I really freaked some chick out by getting right up in Daniel's face and yelling, "WE ALL BLEED RED, YOU FUCKING BIGOT!"

I can't think why... if anyone was saying anything that could be interpreted as being offensive, it was me.

Curse you, Intoxication, my devil mistress.

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