Avant garde, no?

"Though it walks upon legs, this creature exists by no design of man or god."


I could probably put this more eloquently, but fuck it, here it is:

Sometimes, they're very complex and symbolic and you're not quite sure what it all means.

Sometimes, they're fucking straightforward.

I woke up this morning, having had a dream that at first seemed totally wack (to use the vernacular of the hip-hoppin' youth o' today), but on reflection actually made a lot of sense.

It was deeply symbolic - but it wasn't one you had to play backwards to get the secret message.

So, there I am, reading Stormfront when... I feel like I'm being watched... I feel like there are lots of eyes trained on my back... I spin around. There's no-one there.


I'm talking... really fucking huge.

Not Lord of the Rings Huge. Not fucking... I don't know, some other movie with spiders... Not Eight Legged Freaks huge.

But really big.

Like... as big as an average sized toddler.

It's on my wall.

It's fangs are all... dripping venom.

It's fur is all... bristling.

It's eyes are all... many.

Fuck, I fucking hate fucking spiders.

The spider and I then proceeded to play a deadly game of cat and mouse whereby I dashed out of the room and went and got some bugspray (yeah, like that would work) and when I returned it was gone... DEN DEN DENNNNN!

So, we catted and moused a bit, and then there was a bit in a car circa 1978 where the quote above was said in regards to said spider, and also some chit chat about it's deadliness, and then I woke up.

Now, for those of you playing at home, trying to guess the symbolism of the spider, I have omitted one important fact.

The spider was lily-white. Bam! There's your symbolism right there, you rottencrotch-bastards.

Anyway, this got me thinking about school for some reason!

I was thinking... shit, man, I'm fucking awful at dividing fractions.

Then I was thinking... why is that?

Then I was thinking... Right, cos I would just read in Grade 3 maths.

Then I was thinking... But what the fuck was I reading?

And then I remembered... Hardy Boys!

Ah, the Hardy Boys! Whatever happened to those happy-go-lucky mystery-solving chaps... there was another series with Alfred Hitchcock as well... and a trio of youngsters who hung around a junk yard... I'll have to look into it.

And then I got to thinking about my favourite science teacher of all time, Mr. Kuzara, who died a couple years back in Surabaya, and how wasn't it kind of weird to have a Christian science teacher, and then I remembered that he gave me a copy of Daniel Quinn's Ishmael back in 7th Grade, and how that presents the logical explanation for Genesis in the bible, and wasn't that kind of a weird thing for a Christian to do?

I guess being chased around the place by a white supremacist arachnid gets the old Nostalgia Factory going.

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