Okay okay okay okay... everybody just stay fucking cool... there's no reason to panic.
Okay, well, that's a damnable lie. There is a reason to panic.
Standing in front of the building in which my office resides, in the shadows, shunning all sunlight... is a vampire.
The living dead... creatures of the dark... libertarians...
And now, there was one outside my building.
Now, I hear what you're saying! You're saying, "d00der! Surely not a vampire, for it is but day, you dill!"
To which I reply, "Oh, is it? IS IT? Oh, yes... it is."
Nevertheless, this man was a vampire, and here are the reasons why I know this to be true:
1. He was standing in the shadows.
2. He was wearing a LOT of sunscreen. Like, a lot.
3. He was drinking blood.
The secretary and I had a bit of an argument about this last point.
"But it's not red!" she exclaimed.
No, we really did have this conversation.
I explained to her that blood is actually transparent, it's the red cells that give it it's colour.
She so didn't believe me.
But it's for true! For true, I say!
Then he saw we were talking about him and turned into a bat. Or walked away.
Jesus, what is this? The VAMPIRE inquisition?*
*Ha, that wasn't even funny in my head.