My mobile phone is a strange little creature... It's a generic red Nokia number - the kind that you get for free with your pre-paid kit.
It has these little symbols at the top... The key means that the keypad is locked. The little clock means that the alarm is set. The little envelope means that you're running out of space in your SMS drawer... I had something not unlike a little envelope flashing yesterday, though the SMS drawer was far from full.
However, in an attempt to rectify this flashing, I shall now share with you all appropriate SMS's.
In response to my car troubles, Jelly said:
"Oh man! That's awful! Is it the fuel injection?
On the 24th of April, at 1am, in response to my telling her about being chased down the highway by neo-nazis, Leigh said:
"Ahhh! Rum dreams. Fuck that. Congrats on escapimg the Hitler Mobile."
On the 8th of May, at 6:45, after I asked her if she smoked the pot that her cousin left sitting around, Leigh said:
"...Oh, but my MOTHER wanted to light it."
Out of the blue, on the 19th of April, at 6:32, Harriet asked:
"Any idea where/how i can get some valium or an equivalent drug?"
Message Number 9 is from Leigh, from the 1st of May:
"You're going to laugh.... Wait for it...
I got a McJob.
Message Number 10, also from Leigh, from the 4th of December:
"NO MORE MCDONALDS!! Bwahahaha! & I nicked off w the giant ice cream pic that says 'This is the correct size cone (not to scale).' U know. A going away present ;)"
On the 8th of October, Courtney sent this drunken (dishonest) communique as I walked out of Shaun of the Dead (at the end, of course):
"Yarr, purr! me and leigh are watching Ghost!"
From Leigh's McDonald's Training, on the 20th of May:
"'A customer is a person who brings us needs. It's our job to fill them.'"
In response to my assertion that I could become, like, a scientist who sings, Leigh, on the 5th of May, told me:
"Rofl. Uh, I think you already ARE like one."
I was then bombarded with songs:
Victoria - (Channeling Jack Johnson) "It seems to me that chlorophyl, is necessary to grow. So don't tell me you just need CO."
Leigh - "God gave ethanol to you, gave alcohol to you, hydrocarbon bonds for everyone..."
ERASE ERASE ERASE
Well, I'd go on, but the rest of them are from Harriet and are of an explicit nature...
I'm talking: "What can i say, i've always been flexible... And i do love cake..."
I'm talking: "Hahahahaha... And what do you have that all other males dont? Other than a fake medical degree?"
I'm talking: "Oh, how convincing. But a bumbling first-timer is never fun. Sorry dahl."
And that, as the french say, is le that.