Avant garde, no?

...you get treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of. Better watch how you're walking, and how you're talkin', or you and your homies will be lined in chalk.

I took a heady trip back to 1996 tonight, thanks to the helpful cover band at the O and H pub with their heartwarming rendition of Oasis' Wonderwall.

God, what an ear-rape. I felt like slitting my wrists to Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue.

It all started innocently enough - I was hanging out at Vegie's, drinking Nazi Vodka (their slogan: "Spirit of Purity") and watching the Seinfeld marathon from a few weeks back, when my phone rang.

Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo doo dee, it said.

I answered it, and lo and behold, it was Heidi.

She and Katelyn M wanted me to come to the O+H with them... I didn't really want to.

But then they told me why they wanted me to come: To make Katelyn's boyfriend jealous.

Well, how could I resist such a hilarious concept. I told them to come over to Vegie's and pick us up. Anyway, when they arrived, Vegie had to go change his sandals into shoes (Abracadabra!) and while he was gone, another of my friends from high school (and also primary school... and kindergarten) who was in the car, Michelle, told me that there were heaps of my old alumns at the O+H... INCLUDING: Alison Uliando!

Those of you who have been paying attention will recall Alison Uliando going nuts at me in March or thereabouts, because I couldn't remember her name.

Well, if she was going to be there, I might as well go along. I stumbled into the car, Vegie arrived (complete with shoes), and we headed off.

"Why don't I like the pub exactly?" I thought to myself as we drove towards it. A few minutes later, my memory was refreshed.

Oh, right.

It's loud. It's full of drunks. It's full of drunks who shout shit, and I'm fucking on edge as it is without people shouting at random intervals.

On the plus side, such people as practically everyone I went to High School with was in attendance, and that was cool.

But mostly it was just drunks shouting. And then the coverband. At that point, we left. And on this point, at 3:27am in the morning, I think I best do the same.

Dig how few spelling mistakes I've made in my nazi-vodka induced drunken stupour....

WAIT!

I can't go yet! I haven't told you how my jealousy making worked out!

It didn't! I told her boyfriend the whole nefarious plan - I thought it was just hilarious... Katelyn glared at me, I think, but really, look at it this way... The sooner she breaks up with him, the sooner she can get back together with him. Or molest me with fruit. Whichever comes first.

And then he passes out.

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